Love and Loss
by supergirl4u
Summary: Carina is a sixteen year old girl forced to flee her home with her younger sister when tragedy strikes. Can the two girls survive after losing everything? Can the love of a knight give Carina something to live for once again? TristanOC.
1. The Falling Darkness

**Hello! For those of you who are enjoying my other fanfic, no worries, I will continue to update it as well. This is just a little story that popped into my head and wouldn't get out, so I started writing it down. I hope you all enjoy it, and as always, please read and review!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own King Arthur, the movie or the legend, or any of the knights.**

**The story begins about four years before the movie.**

**Chapter 1: The Falling Darkness**

She was happy here. The clean air was nothing like that of Rome. Also, there were trees everywhere. No roads, no bustling and jostling of people. Just trees, and a quiet piece of land which had become their home.

The Pretarches were a wealthy Roman family given land in Britain. Taddeo, the head of the household and father to two daughters, took great care of his land. He had many servants but held none as slaves. They were free to come and go as they pleased, although they always stayed because they loved him so much. He also paid them well and made sure they were properly housed. He even gave jobs to Woads, the native fighters of Britain, although when the family had first arrived they were regarded with hatred and suspicion.

Many mercenaries also worked for Taddeo, soldiers paid to fight for a man. They were mainly for protection, but they also made sure all the work was being done smoothly and there were no disruptions among the people.

His two daughters were aged sixteen and six; their names Carina and Arabela. The reason for the large gap between the two was because Taddeo and his wife Cianna had not planned to have anymore children after Carina was born. There had been complications with the pregnancy, and the midwife had told them that should she conceive again, it could kill her. Arabela was an accident. Cianna had died giving birth to her. But oh, how Arabela looked just like her mother, acted like her too, even in her young age. Same straight black hair, almond brown eyes, curvy red lips. Taddeo was so happy to have her.

Carina, on the other hand, had taken after her father: curly brown hair which was often flying into her face and hazel eyes, tanned skin. She had quite a tan from being outside almost everyday.

He had raised them the best that he could. It made him laugh that Carina, who had had a mother for ten years still turned out more boyish than her younger sister, who had never known Cianna. Arabela enjoyed staying indoors and hated getting dirty while Carina would take long walks outside, often coming back with smudges of dirt on her hands and face. However, he was so proud of them. To go through what they went through and still turn out so loving, so caring, so compassionate. They loved each other and they loved him. They were a family, and each other were all that they had now.

Carina looked up at her sister's giggle. "What are you doing out here?"

Arabela flopped down on the grass beside her. "I came to see what you do out here for so long."

Carina raised her eyebrows. Her sister never came outside. "You're going to get dirty."

Arabela shrugged, but the older sister could see her check her dainty young hands for any signs of dirt. Carina laughed.

"Why do you enjoy being out here so much?" Arabela asked.

They were sitting in a small clearing not far from the estate. A gentle brook ran through here, making gurgling sounds as it chugged along. The wind blew through with a few howls, but the trees surrounding them blocked most of it. Carina had her back up against a tree, her face turned thoughtfully toward the darkening sky.

"It's peaceful," Carina answered. "I feel like I can think out here."

"Why do you need to think?"

"I don't know…I just like thinking about things like…like the day, about father, about you. About mother," Carina said slowly.

Arabela looked up at her, her eyes sparkling. "What do you remember about mother?"

Carina sighed. It had been ten years six years since their mother had passed away, and the memories were fading. She did, however, hold onto a few.

"I remember," she began, "when she got pregnant with you, how excited she was. She would cradle her stomach all the time and just talk to you and sing to you. She loved you so much."

"She didn't even know me," Arabela protested.

"Oh, but she did. Mother knew you because you were a part of her. Just the way if you look deep into your heart, you will realize you know her too because she is a part of you."

Arabela frowned. "I don't feel like I know her."

Carina smiled, placing a hand on her younger sister's head, ruffling her satiny black hair. "You will find you know more about her than you realize. You are just like her in so many ways."

Her younger sister smiled. "Was she pretty?"

"Oh yes, beautiful." Carina and Arabela had had this talk many times, but it seemed the young girl could never tire of hearing about their mother. Carina could not blame her. If she had been the younger sister and had never known her, she would ask many questions as well.

"And she loved father?" Arabela asked.

Carina paused. "Yes, she loved him very much. And he loved her very much."

"Is that why we moved from Rome? Because father was so upset after she died?"

"That was part of it, yes," the older sister replied, choosing her words carefully. "But also, there are bad people in Rome, and not all of them liked the way our father believed. We moved here to escape those people."

"But didn't the Pope give us this land?" Arabela asked, confused.

"He did."

"So why were we escaping?"

A frown creased Carina's face. She remembered why they had moved. It was two years after Arabela was born. Their father had some "radical" beliefs, as some of the priests called it, about peace and equality and freedom. They were too prominent of a family to simply kill, so the Pope sent them here to get rid of them. Her father had told her this in confidence just a few years ago when she was old enough to understand. They had no secrets in their house. This, however, was not the time to tell her six year old sister.

"The Pope felt this land could benefit best by father's presence," Carina answered. Not quite a lie, but certainly not the truth.

Arabela smiled, obviously accepting it. "I'm happy. I like it here."

"You were too young to remember Rome! What makes you think you wouldn't like it more than Britain?" Carina laughed.

"I just know."

The two sisters giggled. Carina had to agree. Although she had lived in Rome for twelve years, she had never liked it there. It was dirty; there were so many people everywhere you went. Here, it was peaceful, quiet, solitary. She would certainly choose this island over Rome any day.

"It is getting rather dark," Arabela remarked, glancing up at the sky.

"Yes, it is. We should return to the house. Father will never believe you came outside with your sister."

Arabela laughed. "He is probably wondering where I am."

The two girls made it to the gate just as darkness was settling across the horizon. Taddeo was waiting anxiously for them with the mercenaries, the gate thrown open.

"Where have you been?" he asked, not angry but very concerned.

"I'm sorry, father. We sat by the brook for a little too long this evening," Carina answered.

Taddeo raised his eyebrows at Arabela. "YOU went to the brook?"

"It was quite fun, actually," the young girl answered with a giggle.

Their father laughed, sweeping Arabela into his arms, carrying her through the courtyard and into the house. Carina followed close behind.

"Well, I am glad you are both safe. Next time both of you are going to wander off, could you please let an old man like me know?" Taddeo said.

"Of course, father," Carina answered, laughing. "It won't happen again."

They sat down to dinner together as was usual. Carina had washed her hands and face; Arabela had bathed and had on a clean dress. They sat comfortably at a small, round, wooden table. Three chairs were placed closely around it. Taddeo sat in the middle with his two daughters on either side.

The cook had once again prepared an excellent meal of broiled chicken and corn. Carina ate hungrily.

"So what else have my daughters been up to today?" Taddeo asked in between bites.

"I worked on my quilt some more," Arabela chimed. The young girl had taken a real liking to quilting and did some everyday.

"I played with Delanna some and helped her with her chores," Carina answered. Delanna was one of the hired servant's daughters. Carina and she were very close in age and often tried to help each other out with daily duties.

Taddeo nodded in satisfaction. "I'm happy you two are staying busy. It is not good to be idle."

"What did you do today, father?" Arabela asked, slurping down some water.

"I chopped some firewood and worked on the stables a bit. I think I'm just going to have to build a new home for the horses."

The stables had become weathered. They were closer to the mountains where the wind and rain seemed to hit hardest. Also, they were not made of the same materials as the house had been, and the four years here had taken their toll.

"I have also begun to hear rumors of an invading Saxon army," Taddeo said slowly. "I was thinking maybe we should gather up some things, keep a packed bag."

The two girls looked at each other alarmingly.

"Just in case," their father continued. "I'm sure it's nothing, but I don't want us to be unprepared."

Arabela pouted. "Are we going to have to leave?"

"No, at least not now. They are only rumors. But if we did have to leave, wouldn't you want a pair of dry clothes and food for the journey?" Taddeo answered.

"Where would we go?" Carina asked.

"There is a fort south of here, called Hadrian's Wall. There is a group of knights there from what I hear. I figure that would be a safe place. But let's not worry about that now. I'm sorry I brought it up."

Taddeo resumed eating, trying to appear unaffected, but Carina could see he was worried. These must be more than rumors. He was really preparing them to leave.

_No matter what happens, everything will be alright,_, she thought, turning her attention back to her food as well. _Father will not let anything happen to us._


	2. Race Against Time

**Thank you mistygayle and KnightMaiden for reviewing! I hope you get the replies I send. Like my other story, the more reviews I get, the faster I update. And if the reviews stop, I stop writing the story. Also, if you read it but don't review, I don't know if you like the story or not, so I do not base this on the number of hits. The only thing I do not accept is downright bashing of my story. If you don't like it and have no constructive criticism, please don't review. Everything else I gladly welcome. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2: Race Against Time**

The next morning, the sun rose high in the sky. It did not appear ominous at all. However, Carina did as her father had wished and packed a small bag of belongings and rations to carry with her should the time arrive when they had to leave quickly. She also forced her sister to do the same amidst all her complaining.

After that, Carina ventured outside to see what Delanna was up to. She found her helping her mother with the laundry.

"Mind if I join?" Carina asked, taking off her cloak and rolling up her sleeves.

Delanna looked up and smiled, her blue eyes twinkling. "Not at all."

"Your father came to speak with us last night," Delanna's mother, Lucia, said.

"Oh?" Carina asked, scrubbing one of her own dresses.

"He told us to get some things together, that we might have to leave soon," Delanna replied. "Is something wrong, Carina?"

"No, no, nothing is wrong," Carina answered quickly. "Just rumors, you know. And you know my father, always prepared."

Lucia and Delanna smiled. Taddeo always was prepared for everything.

"Did you do it? Did you pack some bags?" Carina asked cautiously.

"No, not yet. Paolo doesn't feel it necessary. I'm going to try to talk him into it tonight," Lucia answered. Paolo was her husband and Delanna's father.

"Well, you might want to get it done…just in case, you know. I would hate it if father suddenly decided to leave and you weren't prepared after he told you to be." Carina continued to look down as she washed, but she could feel the two women's eyes on her.

"Of course," Lucia said softly.

The conversation turned to other, more ordinary matters, of which Carina was grateful. They finished the laundry just as noon was passing, and Carina hurried back to the estate, hoping she hadn't missed lunch. Her father and sister had already eaten, but some bread and jelly were still sitting on the table. She smiled, thankful they had remembered her.

Carina was at the brook again that evening, her mind mulling over what her father had told her. That afternoon he had sought her out and brought her to the stables, a place Arabela would never venture. He spoke quietly and quickly. He tried to pretend everything was still okay, but she could tell how nervous he had gotten.

"Did you pack a bag?" he asked, his brown eyes searching hers.

"Yes, father, just this morning. Arabela has packed one as well."

"Good, good," Taddeo murmured. "Now, we have no secrets, and I feel you are of age and responsible enough to hear this. I sent out a rider just two days ago. He returned today with the news that the Saxons are no more than twenty miles away."

Carina gasped. Could they really be that close?

"We leave tonight," her father continued. "Get your sister ready as soon as darkness falls. We will make for Hadrian's Wall."

"How long will it take us to get there?" Carina asked.

"I'm not sure, hopefully just a couple of days. Possibly up to a week." Taddeo was glancing around apprehensively.

Carina covered her face with her hands. It was hard to believe this was real.

Taddeo grasped her by the shoulders. "Please, Carina, I need you to be strong. For me, and for your younger sister."

The sixteen year old brought her hands down, tears shining in her eyes. "Yes, father. I will be strong."

And now she sat, waiting for the coming dark and the mystery and fear it held. They would be leaving in just another hour or so, she guessed. She was terrified, but happy that she had such a sturdy and loving father. He would take care of them. She knew that.

A sudden beating of drums brought her out of her thoughts. Carina stood up quickly, her heart pounding. Could they already be here? No, no, they were too far away to have gotten here so quickly. Her mind raced, all the possibilities flying through her head.

_A scouting party_, she thought. They must have gone ahead. The rider did not know a group of Saxon had continued on when the others stopped.

She took off running, as fast as she could, back to the estate. She burst through the gate and began screaming wildly for her father. Taddeo leaped out of the door, his face contorted with worry.

"Father, they are here!" Carina was screaming. Her hair was falling in her face, her brown eyes wild.

"What? Who is here?" Taddeo asked, his mind not registering.

"The Saxon!"

He stopped and listened, hearing the drums as well. Carina heard him take a sharp breath. He grabbed her arm, dragging her inside. "Get your sister!"

Carina ran up the stairs. "Arabela! Arabela!"

Her younger sister sauntered out of her room, a cross look plastered on her face. "What's all the ruckus about?"

"Grab your bag. We're leaving," Carina said breathlessly. She brushed past her sister into the room, picking up the bag herself and walked back out. Arabela still stood in the doorframe confused.

"Carina, what is going on?"

"I don't have time to explain right now. We just have to leave." Carina grabbed her younger sister by the arm, pulling her down the stairs. Arabela wrenched her arm free.

"I don't want to go!" she cried.

"Listen," Carina said hurriedly, squatting to be eye level, "the Saxon are here and if we don't leave now, we will all die."

Arabela stared at her sister, her eyes welling up with tears. Carina straightened up, putting her hand behind her sister's back and guiding her outside. Arabela no longer protested.

Taddeo was already waiting for them. "We must make for the stables." He put his hand on Arabela's head, who was whimpering slightly. Carina nodded. The three took off running, Carina slightly dragging her younger sister along. The stables were quite a ways off and closest to the north, which was the direction the Saxon were coming from. If they did not hurry it would be too late.

They reached the stables just as the Saxon scouting party was coming into view. A smaller group than a whole army, but still looked to be about thirty men strong.

"Hurry!" Taddeo shouted, picking up Arabela and running into the stables. Carina tried to keep her breathing under control. They had been seen. She heard their battle cry and the following thundering footsteps.

Taddeo placed Arabela on a horse, Mea, the most gentle one they had. "Up," he commanded Carina. He helped her up behind her sister, handing her the reins.

"What about you?" Carina asked. Her heart was thundering in her chest. Her own voice sounded distant and childlike.

"I will ride Ugo. I must go warn the people," her father answered quickly, mounting the horse.

"You're not coming with us?" Carina gasped. Arabela was crying by now, sobs wracking her small body.

"I am coming with you, but you must leave right now. Get as far away from here as you can." Taddeo took a long look at his two daughters. Tears were filling his eyes. He placed his hand on Carina's cheek. "I love you both so much. Now go!"

Carina did not move.

"Go!" Taddeo shouted, slapping their horse on its hind quarters, causing Mea to startle and take off running.

Carina held tightly onto the reins as they raced outside into the cool air, her sister's body pressing hard into hers against the force of the horse's gallop. Arabela's hair kept flying into her face, and she struggled to see around it. She turned, once, to see her father leaving the stables on Ugo. The Saxon were so close by then. Their archers were shooting arrows. They flew all around her father, but none struck him. Carina turned back around to control the horse.

They were passing the estate now, the people standing warily outside their homes as Carina and Arabela flew by. The older sister saw Delanna standing with her family. She turned Mea to ride up to them.

"You must leave, now," she said quickly.

"What is going on?" Paolo asked, his thick arms wrapped around his wife and daughter.

"The Saxon are here! You must leave now!" Carina cried out in desperation.

Delanna looked over at her mother.

"But, we haven't packed yet," Lucia said.

"Don't you understand? They will kill you!"

Carina turned at the voice of her father. "Ride, Carina! Leave this place!" He was coming up behind her as well as the Saxon. More arrows were flying.

It seemed like a dream as she watched an arrow fly through the air…striking her father. It had to be a dream, no, a nightmare. _Please, God, let it be a nightmare._ Carina's eyes opened wide in horror, watching as Taddeo looked down at his chest, at the arrow protruding from his breastbone. He looked back up at her, a blank look on his face. And he fell to the ground.

"FATHER!" The anguished cry seemed like it could not have come from Carina's lips.

Paolo grabbed his family, taking them inside.

"What? What is going on?" Arabela moaned, trying to turn around.

Tears streamed down her face, but Carina could not let her younger sister see their father dead. She turned back around and urged her horse into a sheer run, leaving everybody else and everything behind.


	3. Fight for Survival

**Thank you Scout Earane and Brooke1sg for reviewing! I love getting good reviews. I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter because it was fun to write. Oh, and I understand there is some debate about how to spell Tristan, but that is how I'm spelling it because I like it best. Anyways, enjoy, and as always, please review!**

**Chapter 3: Fight for Survival**

They rode well into the night, long after the threat of the Saxons was far behind them. Carina would not stop. She whipped through the forest at blinding speeds, tree branches cutting her face and dirt and mud splashing up onto the two girls.

Arabela had lulled into silence, her head leaned back against Carina. Finally, after many hours of pressing Mea harder than she had ever gone before, Carina relinquished the speed. She slowed the horse to a trot and eventually to a stop. Arabela lifted her head.

"What are we doing?" she asked sleepily.

"We are stopping to rest," Carina answered, dismounting the horse. Her legs felt like gravy underneath her. She lifted her arms for her sister, Arabela gladly taking hold and letting her sister help her down.

"Where is father?" the young girl asked.

Carina looked away, trying to control her staggered breathing and tears that were welling up. "Father will not be joining us."

"Where did he go? Why did he leave us?" the six year old's voice raised to a hysterical level.

"I mean, he will not be joining us…yet. He will meet us at Hadrian's Wall." Another lie to her young sister, but Carina could not tell her the truth. It still hurt her too much. Maybe it would be easier by the time they reached the fort.

"Where is Hadrian's Wall?" Arabela asked, her large brown eyes searching for answers.

Carina realized she had no clue. She just knew it was south, so south they would go as far as they had to. "It's not too far from here," she lied again.

Arabela still looked curious, but her eyes were fluttering shut even as she stood. Carina grabbed the blanket she had packed and wrapped it around her sister. "Get some sleep, babe. We will be riding again tomorrow."

The young sister nodded drowsily, sitting down in the dirt, too tired to mind. She pressed her back up against a tree and was soon breathing deeply.

Carina watched her, wishing it was that easy for her to fall asleep in the dark, unfamiliar woods. Every snap of a twig, every brush of a branch, could mean death for them. Her head whipped around with each new sound. She knew she would be getting no sleep tonight. Getting cold, she crawled over to Arabela, wrapping her arms around her and burying her face in her sister's neck.

"All we have is each other now, love," she said softly, not disturbing the sleeping girl. "I promise I will not let anything happen to you."

Morning came, bringing a bright sun that did not seem fitting of what had transpired the night before. Carina raised her head wearily. Unbelievably, she must have dozed for a few minutes. Her neck was stiff and her body ached all over.

Arabela was beginning to move about as well. Her eyes fluttered open, heavy and red. She looked over at Carina, rubbing her hands over her face.

Carina tried to smile but she didn't know if it was convincing. The young girl smiled back, hope still living in her.

_She believes our father is still alive_, Carina thought, all strength leaving her. But her father had told her to be strong, and so strong she would be. Arabela needed her.

She dug in her pack, pulling out some of the bread she had packed. "Here, eat this," she said, tossing it to Arabela. The young girl practically stuffed the bread down her throat. Carina had forgotten they had not eaten last night.

The older sister picked at her portion, hungry, yet she was not sure if her stomach could hold food. The image of her father falling of his horse, the blank look on his face…it was still too clear in her memory.

As soon as Arabela had finished her share, Carina stood up. "Are you ready to go?"

"Maybe we should wait for father. He might be looking for us," Arabela said.

Carina pressed her lips together. "No, Arabela, father will not be looking for us. I told you, he will meet us at Hadrian's Wall."

"But don't you think he will come for us?" The young girl's eyes were so pleading.

"Yes," Carina said softly, "I know he would. But we must keep our promise and make it to safety."

Arabela finally relented, allowing her sister to help her onto the horse. The six year old was heavier than Carina remembered despite her small frame, and it took her two times to get her high enough for Arabela to swing her leg over. Carina hoisted herself up with some effort as well. She had not ridden many horses before and was not used to their large frames. However, she made it up her first try and grabbed the reins, nudging Mea into a gentle trot and slowly faster and faster until they were once again running through the thickening forest.

It began to rain later in the day, merely a drizzle at first but then harder and harder until the pouring down rain forced Carina to stop the horse. She and Arabela huddled under a tree, soaked to the bone, waiting and praying for it to stop.

_Praying_, Carina thought. _I wasn't sure I was still capable of believing in God._

But pray she did, for her father, for her friends left back at the estate, and for her sister. She prayed for her sister most of all.

When the rain finally died down in the evening, they ate a few small bites of dried meat and continued to ride. Carina was anxious to reach her destination. She only hoped she could find it.

Falling darkness caused them to stop once again. The rain had stopped and the sky had actually cleared to reveal a night full of stars. Carina got out her extra pair of clothes, also wet but at least not as wet. Arabela did the same. They huddled close together again that night, Arabela dozing off while Carina stayed awake, listening to the sounds of the forest, hoping they could reach this Hadrian's Wall she had heard of but never seen, and wondering what kind of life that would bring if they did reach it.

It was getting toward morning when Carina's thoughts were interrupted by the violent shivering of her sister. She wrapped the blanket tighter around Arabela but it did not help. The younger sister's eyes opened into tiny slits.

"Arabela, what's wrong?" Carina asked.

"I-I don't feel well," Arabela answered, clutching the blanket and curling up into a ball.

Carina, panicking in the inside but trying not to show it, felt of her sister's head. It was burning up. "You've got a fever." She got up and walked over to her bag. She had brought no supplies for sickness. Father had grabbed some things, but they were in his pack which was laying back at the estate where he had fallen.

Carina squatted, trying to gather her thoughts, tears unwillingly squeezing from her eyes. What was she going to do now?

They were riding again, with even more urgency than before. Arabela was wrapped tightly in a blanket, but the fever still raged and she shivered uncontrollably. Carina, exhausted and running on the pure will to stay alive and keep her sister alive, pushed Mea faster, trying to find something, anything to give them hope.

They rode all day, Arabela sliding in and out of consciousness as her fever worsened. Darkness was settling in, and Carina was terrified of spending another night out in the forest. She had to find some place for her sister to sleep. However no such place appeared. They were still in the thick forest with no way to tell if they were even still going in the right direction.

Fear was forcing its way through Carina's body even though she struggled to fight it. She wouldn't give in now…she couldn't. Arabela was moaning now, delirious even in her sleep. The fever must be getting worse. They couldn't continue to ride like this. Carina finally relented and slowed the horse. The night had become so black, no moon or stars in the sky, that she could hardly see. Wind whistled through the trees as if sensing the worsening troubles of the girls.

Carina gently lowered her sister from the horse, settling her on the ground. Arabela never even woke but merely laid exactly how Carina had placed her. The older sister straightened and tightened the blanket around Arabela, trying to hold back the sobs that were choking her throat. Carina wrapped her spindly arms around the younger girl in an attempt to keep her warm.

"Stay with me, babe," Carina whispered. "Please, stay with me."

* * *

Tristan watched them curiously. He had come across them by pure chance after being out scouting for too long. He was returning to the fort when he heard the sound of a horse and he carefully and quietly went to investigate.

Now he was watching them, getting an idea of who they were and why they were here. His eyes were used to seeing in this blackness, but he still hid himself behind a tree a few yards away in case they noticed him. Tristan sensed no danger from the two girls, but he wondered who they were and why they were riding through the forest. He slowly stepped out from behind the tree, towards them.

The older girl's eyes had been closed slightly, but they flew open at the sight of him. She scrambled to her feet, her eyes wild, her face revealing her fear and exhaustion.

"Who are you?" she asked, her voice shaking.

Tristan held up his hands in an attempt to calm her fears. "My name is Tristan. I am a Sarmatian knight under the command of Arthur Castus stationed at Hadrian's Wall. I mean you no harm."

"You…you are a knight?" she asked, her shoulders relaxing a little bit.

"Yes."

"Are we close to the wall?"

"Somewhat," Tristan answered, taking another slow step towards the two girls. The younger one was still laying on the ground, obviously feverish. "I can lead you there."

The older girl still seemed unwilling to trust him, but after staring at the younger one for a few moments, he could see her start to slump.

"Please, help my sister," she whispered.

Tristan nodded, quickly gathering the younger girl in his arms. "You must follow closely," he said, his voice soft but gruff. "It will take some time to get there." He put the girl on his horse and quickly mounted behind her, holding her in place with his arms. He looked over at the older girl. "Are you going to be okay to ride?"

She looked so exhausted, but she nodded her head. "I will be okay."

Tristan eyed her cautiously but knew his horse could not handle two girls, no matter how small. The older one must ride. "What is your name?" he asked.

"Carina," the older girl answered, mounting her own horse.

* * *

Carina followed closely, just like he said. Tristan did not ride extremely fast but still at a quick pace. She noticed they had turned to the right when leaving their small camp. She muttered to herself, realizing she must have turned slightly east at some point during the ride.

After another hour or so, they finally entered a clearing. Carina squinted her eyes, able to make out a large and high wall with a wooden gate. They had arrived.

Tristan led them through the gates into another clearing. After riding for several more minutes, they entered a small village and finally, they reached the fort. Another man came out to meet them.

"Who is this?" the man asked.

"This girl needs help immediately. Get Dagonet," Tristan replied, handing Arabela to the man. He looked down at her like he wasn't sure to do at first, then noticing her fever, he quickly nodded and hurried off.

Carina swayed back and forth in the saddle. They had made it…they would be safe. Somebody was here who could take care of her sister. Relief flooded her body, and finally she gave into the exhaustion of the past three days…

Tristan dismounted and caught her just as she fell off the horse. He cradled her in his arms for a second, then hastily carried her to a room.


	4. Recovery

**Hello everybody! Sorry about the longer wait than usual. This weekend has been a little busy with Christmas shopping and Christmas musicals, but things are almost back to normal, so hopefully I can get back to quicker updates. I am updating just as soon as I can, I promise! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! I loved receiving them and reading your thoughts. You guys keep me writing! Anyways, here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Chapter 4: Recovery**

She woke with a start, leaping up from the bed. Bed? Carina's eyes scanned the dimly lit room. Yes, she was in a bed, a very comfortable and large bed, much like her one back home. There were two windows to her right side but the sun shining through was shut out by heavily drawn curtains. A fire burned in a fireplace on the other side of the room. There was an armoire, a few chairs scattered about, and a desk thrown against the wall by the windows.

Whose room is this? Carina wondered. Where am I?

A flood of memories suddenly filled her mind. The raiding Saxon army, her father, the long ride here, Arabela.

Arabela! Where was she?

Carina got out of bed, grimacing to find her legs were not yet ready to bear her weight. She fell to the floor with a thump.

The door opened behind her. She heard loud footsteps walking quickly over to her. She looked up, afraid of what she might see. A large man stood over, tall and with a long scar crawling down his face. Carina stared in shock and fear.

"I am Dagonet," the man said, bending down to her. "I am a Sarmatian knight. You need not fear me."

Carina tried to speak, but found her voice had faltered.

"You are at Hadrian's Wall," Dagonet continued. "Tristan found you and brought you here a few days ago with your sister, who is sleeping in the next room."

"Arabela," Carina finally managed to muster, her voice barely more than a whisper. "How is she?"

Dagonet smiled. "She had quite a bad fever, but I think it is breaking. She should be fine."

Carina sighed with relief. "How long did you say I've been here?" she asked.

"About three days," Dagonet answered, pulling her up and placing her back in the bed.

"And you have been taking care of me?"

"Yes, but I have had lots of help. There are more knights. And Arthur, our commander, has been coming to see how you and your sister fare."

Dagonet was turning to leave, but Carina stopped him. "Tristan? Has he come to visit?" she asked cautiously.

The large knight smiled. "Yes, he has visited many times. Now rest." And he walked out of the room without another word.

* * *

Carina slept soundly the rest of the day and into the night. She woke again in the darkness of night, a single flickering candle on the bedside table was all to light the room. A man was sitting in a chair pulled up next to her bed; his feet kicked up on one of the wooden posts.

She raised up cautiously, and he glanced over at her.

"Dagonet said you might wake up tonight. You have been sleeping for quite some time." It was hard to see his face in the darkness, but she knew who it was: Tristan.

"Here, eat." He picked up a bowl of soup from the floor and handed it to her. It was a little cold but she ate it hungrily.

After slurping up the soup, Carina glanced up at Tristan. He was watching her, an unreadable expression on his face.

"I don't think I ever thanked you…for saving us," she said softly.

Tristan shook his head. "No thanks required."

"Yes, it is. We would have died out there in the forest if you had not come along. Arabela!" Carina gasped. "How is she doing?"

"She is doing fine. She sleeps in the next room."

"May I go see her?"

Tristan shrugged. "If should be okay if Dagonet doesn't have a problem with it."

Carina smiled slightly and began to get up carefully, remembering her last attempt to stand. She was happy to find her legs more stable. Tristan took a step towards her, regarding her carefully. She moved slowly to the door.

"Which room is she in?" Carina asked.

"Just to your left," Tristan answered, following closely to help her if she stumbled.

Carina ran her hand along the chilly stone wall, her bare feet cold on the floor. She was in her undergarments, no less, but it was too late to care now. Her hand found the warmth of a wooden door, then found the knob. She turned it carefully, opening the door.

Inside, a fire raged in the fireplace. Dagonet was sitting next to the bed, his eyes staring at them as they entered, a small smile creasing his face. He nodded his head slightly towards the bed, where a small figure lay. Carina breathed a sigh of relief, walking as quickly as she could over to her sister.

Arabela was sleeping soundly. Her pale skin looked slightly flushed, but the shivers were gone and her forehead was not nearly as hot. Carina knelt by the bed, silent tears falling.

"We did it," she whispered. "We made it."

The young girl stirred but did not wake. Carina grasped her sister's hand, so happy she was okay. She looked up at the two knights. "May I stay with her?"

Dagonet frowned. "I'm not sure if it's a good idea. Your sister is still sick and you are still weak. If you contracted the illness also, it could be the death of you."

Carina sighed, looking back at her sister. She looked so peaceful, almost angelic.

"We will take good care of her," Dagonet said softly.

"I know you will," the older sister replied. "You have already done more for us when are mere strangers. Thank you for your kindness."

She stood up wearily, using the bed as a support to lift herself. Tristan took her arm and guided her back to her room, where she collapsed back on the bed, falling asleep once more.

Tristan watched her sleep, so many questions milling through his head. Did she have family? Did she have a home? Why had she ridden here? He sighed heavily, knowing there was no way to get any answers until she woke again, and he must let her sleep. She was still so weak. He propped his feet back up on the bedpost, leaning his head back but not falling asleep, allowing his mind to wander.

* * *

"Who is she?"

It was morning and the knights had gathered for breakfast. There were nine of them sitting around the round table: Arthur, Lancelot, Bors, Dagonet, Tristan, Galahad, Gawain, Kay, and Geraint. Arthur, who had asked the question, waited expectantly for Dagonet to answer.

"I do not know her name," the large knight replied, shaking his head.

"Carina," Tristan spoke up. "And her sister's name is Arabela."

"Where do they come from?" Arthur asked.

Both knights shook their heads. "The older girl has only been awake for a few minutes, and the younger one has slept constantly," Dagonet answered.

Arthur sighed. He had looked in on the girls a few times, seeing if there was anything he could do. He wished he knew more about them and their plight.

"Well," he began, "should either of them wake again, try to get some answers."

* * *

Carina was roused later in the morning. Nobody was in her room, but one of the curtains had been thrown back to let some light enter. She squinted her eyes until she got used to the brightness.

She rolled out of bed and planted her feet firmly on the floor, standing up. Her legs felt good, strong. She walked steadily over to the window, looking out. Below her lay a small village. People were moving to and fro, going about daily business. Children played in the streets. Their laughter filled the air.

Carina stretched her arms, yawning slightly. She watched them with wonderment for a few minutes. Did she used to laugh and play like that? The past few days had made her feel so much older than her sixteen years.

She shook her head, not wanting the memories to flood back quite yet. She just wanted to revel in the fact that she and her sister were safe for a little while.

Carina found her dress thrown over the back of a chair. It had obviously been washed as the mud stains were gone. After putting it on quickly, she walked next door to visit her sister.

Arabela was still sleeping, but her skin was cool. The fever had finally broken. Carina sat in the chair that was still pulled up to the bed. She was sure Dagonet had stayed with the young girl all night. She took her sister's small hand in her own, patting it gently.

Dagonet entered just then, bringing in a bowl of fresh water. He smiled when he saw Carina.

"Her fever broke early this morning," he said, setting the bowl down on a nearby table.

"That's very good," Carina replied, smiling widely for the first time in almost a week.

Arabela groaned and rolled over, her eyes fluttering open. "Carina?" she asked weakly.

Tears flowed down the older sister's cheeks. "Yes, babe, I'm here."

"Where are we?"

"We are at Hadrian's Wall."

Arabela sat up slowly. "Where's father?"

Carina looked away, biting her lip. She had forgotten about the lie she had told her sister. She could put off the truth no longer. Dagonet, seeing her pained expression, left the room knowingly.

"Arabela, father is not here. He will not be here," Carina began.

"But you said he was going to meet us at Hadrian's Wall. Where is he?" Arabela interjected, her voice rising.

"Shhh," Carina hushed her, pulling their clasped hands tighter into her body. She did not know how else to tell her. "Father is dead. He was killed by the Saxons."

Arabela's eyes welled up, confusion crossing her face. "But…but you said he would meet us here."

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Carina looked down, unable to control the sobs that were now escaping from her throat. She reached for her younger sister, but Arabela moved away from her touch, sliding to the other side of the bed.

"Arabela…" Carina said softly.

"You lied to me."

"I didn't do it to hurt you," the older sister replied. "I did it to protect you."

"You lied to me!"

Carina cringed at her sister's loud shriek. "I'm sorry." She kept her voice soft, calming, trying to soothe her sister. "What else do you want me to say?"

Arabela laid her head back down on the pillows, turning her backto Carina. "Leave me."

Carina, pained tears sliding down her face, unwillingly obeyed. She went back to her room and laid down on the bed, sobbing.


	5. Unwilling Hearts

**I realized I made some mistakes in this chapter, so I fixed them. Here it is! Oh, and I still greatly appreciate KnightMaiden for reviewing, and I hope all you others continue to read and review as well! In case you've already read this, I'm just restating the although things may seem to be moving slowly, I promise they will pick up. Well, enjoy! And PLEASE read and review!**

**Chapter 5: Unwilling Hearts**

"Carina."

The girl's eyes flew open. After crying for many hours, she must have dozed off. The voice startled her out of her fitful sleep. She turned to find Tristan standing in the doorway.

"Arthur wishes to speak with you," Tristan said, her eyes meeting his.

The walk to the meet the Roman commander was spent in silence. Carina's stomach was jumping with nerves, but her body felt empty. She had cried out every last remaining ounce of her strength. She stared blankly ahead as they walked.

They reached a closed door and stopped. Carina took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves, realizing this man could decide her and Arabela's fate. Tristan, noticing her nervousness, attempted a small smile.

"Arthur is kind. He only wants to speak with you," he said, trying to encourage her. Carina tried to return his smile but felt how fake it must look. Tristan gave a slight nod and left her standing at the doorway. She took another deep breath to slow her breathing and opened the door.

There room was very large, so staggering Carina stopped after entering to gaze at it. There was a round table in the middle which took up almost the entire room. Arthur was already seated. He smiled warmly as she entered.

"Welcome. Come sit down." His voice boomed in the empty room

Carina walked slowly over to the Roman commander, her footsteps seeming to thunder on the stone floors. She reached her hand up and tried to smooth her tangled hair. She realized she must look a fright with red, bloodshot eyes.

Carina sat down next to him, feeling small and intimidated. The table was much too big for just two people. She glanced over at Arthur and noticed he was still smiling. His eyes were hazel and kind. He had dark hair, and curls fell onto his forehead. He almost reminded Carina of her father.

"Have you been resting well?" Arthur asked.

"Yes, thank you," Carina answered. "You and your men have been too kind to us."

"You and your sister were in quite a bad shape when Tristan brought you here," Arthur said. He was still watching her, studying her. It made Carina uncomfortable, and she shifted anxiously in her seat.

"Your name is Carina?"

The sixteen year old nodded. "Yes, and my sister is Arabela."

Arthur nodded. "I suppose you already know that I am Arthur, the Roman commander in charge of the Sarmatian knights."

"Yes, I know who you are. My father would tell me about you."

"Your father?" Arthur asked. "And who is he?"

Carina ducked her head, the memories shooting through her painfully. "My father's name is…was Taddeo Pretarche. He was a Roman, like you, and a good man."

"What happened?" Arthur's voice was soft.

Carina sighed, knowing she must tell the story.

"We were attacked by Saxons. They killed him. Arabela and I barely escaped."

"You rode away? And where were you headed?"

"Here, actually, although we never would have found it if Tristan had not come along. Father said we would be safe here."

Arthur leaned back his chair, his face thoughtful. "I know of the Saxon raid you speak of. It was put down by the Woads just a few days after you arrived. The Saxons had not brought the full force of their army; it seemed more of a scavenging party. I did not realize they had attacked any homes."

"Well, they attacked ours."

The Roman commander looked at her, his eyes still curious. "How long did it take you to ride here?"

"Three days," Carina answered.

"You spent three days out in the forest?" His voice was shocked.

Carina nodded her head, realizing it was quite an amazing feat for two young girls.

"It is a wonder you survived," Arthur murmured. "Do you have any other relatives? What of your mother?"

"My mother died when I was ten. Arabela is all I have left except for an uncle in Rome."

The Roman commander frowned, his face turning thoughtful again. "What are your plans?"

"I don't have any, really," Carina answered truthfully. "I haven't had a whole lot of time to think about it."

Arthur nodded. After pausing for a moment, he spoke again. "You and your sister may stay here as long as you like. Food and housing will be provided along with anything else you and your sister need."

Carina stared at him, tears welling up in her eyes. "Thank you, sir, but I could never accept such a generous gift. You have been too kind to us already."

"We would love to have you as our guests," Arthur smiled, "but if you feel the need to work your keep, I am sure Vanora will gladly welcome your help."

"Who is Vanora?" Carina asked.

"She is the lover of one of my knights, Bors. They have nine children." Arthur was almost laughing as he thought about the family.

"I will help however I can."

Arthur smiled warmly before returning to his usual seriousness. He placed a hand on one of her shoulders, leaning forward and looking directly into her eyes. "I am very sorry for your loss."

Carina smiled weakly in return. She felt his sympathy and knew it was genuine. "Thank you."

"Would you like to meet Bors and Vanora?" Arthur asked, standing.

Carina nodded, also standing and following Arthur out into the village.

* * *

"So this is her, huh?" The man standing in front of Carina was not extremely tall but broad shouldered. His hair was shaved close to his head, and a playful smiled plastered his face.

"Yes, Bors, this is Carina. She is going to be helping you and Vanora out with the children." Arthur was standing close to her, smiling and laughing at the chaos that was going on around them. Seven children were running mercilessly around, aged from two to nine. A younger one sat in the dirt, watching his brothers and sisters, laughing gleefully and clapping his hands.

"Well, we could use a little help around here," Bors replied. He turned to see one of his children chasing after some chickens. "Seven! Don't you do that! You're gonna scare 'em so bad they'll stop laying eggs!" He turned back around to see Arthur and Carina staring at him, amused looks on their faces. "Maybe we could use a lot of help."

Carina found Vanora to be a beautiful woman with a curvy figure and fire-red hair. She was kind and gentle with her, although when Bors came around she wasn't afraid to let him have it. Carina smiled at her seemingly split personalities.

Vanora took her around their small house, nothing like the large estate Carina had come from, but it seemed cozy. She introduced her to all the children, including the youngest one which was practically attached to her hip. Carina found it odd when she realized Vanora was introducing the children as numbers. Vanora laughed when she questioned her about it.

"Oh, I wanted to name the children, but it just got too hard. After you havenine children, you know, you kind of run out names. So we gave them numbers. It's easier to remember."

Carina laughed, finding it felt so good to laugh again. The relief that had flooded her when Arthur announced they could stay had done wonders for her attitude. She liked this family. They were very different from anything she had ever known, but still very loving. Bors was very affectionate with his children, which surprised Carina at first, but when she got to know him better it only seemed natural.

She stayed with them through dinner, helping to make sure all the children ate their food and then helping to clean up. Carina was weary when she left but happy. It felt good to be part of a family again.

Back in the fort, she trudged up the stairs to her room, but stopped at Arabela's room. She poked her head in and saw her sister was sitting up in bed, her face cast toward the darkening window. Arabela turned when she heard the door creak open.

"What are you doing here?"

Carina's heart panged when she saw the look of hatred on Arabela's face and the anger in her voice. "I came to see how you are doing."

"Well, I'm fine. Now leave me alone," the younger sister replied, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly.

"Why are you so angry with me?" Carina asked, closing the door behind her, refusing to leave.

"I'm not angry with you."

Carina frowned, sitting down in the chair next to Arabela's bed. "Yeah, right."

Arabela sighed and looked away. Her voice was soft when she continued. "Because you let him die."

"I let who die? Father?"

"Yes, father. You said the Saxons killed him. How do you know that? He could have still been alive. You left him there to die!" Arabela's voice was rising until it reached a high-pitched shriek.

Carina shook her head. "No, Arabela. Father was dead. I saw it; you didn't. I'm sorry I had to lie to you, but I couldn't bear to tell you then. When father was shot, it was like a part of me was shot too. You were the only thing keeping me alive, and you are all I have left. Please don't be angry with me." Her voice was pleading but she saw no relenting in her sister's eyes.

"And how do you think I felt when I realized I had been lied to? When I realized that father wasn't coming for us, and the only hope I was hanging onto was dead!"

Arabela turned her face towards the windows once again. "I don't ever want to speak to you again."

"You don't mean that," Carina said softly. Her body felt numb. There was no reply.

Carina got up slowly and began to walk out, but before she shut the door behind her, she turned back around. "You may hate me, but I will always love you. And one day you will realize that I did everything I could to save you."

Carina returned to her room, tired and heavy-hearted. She had lost her father in death; now she had lost her sister in anger. Her body was still too numb to feel the full effects of it, so she dragged a chair over to the window, looking out at the villagers beneath her as they finished their last-minute chores before sunset.

_God, why this? Why now? Why me?_ So many questions swirled in her head, but there were no answers. She wondered if God even cared about her anymore.

Carina was so lost in thought, she didn't even hear the door open. Tristan was halfway into the room before she realized she was not alone. She turned to meet the scout's eyes.

"How did it go with Arthur?" he asked, his voice soft, soothing.

"He is letting me and Arabela stay as long as we want," Carina answered. "He is a kind man."

Tristan nodded, sitting down on the edge of her bed and folding his hands, placing his elbows on his knees. "He is honest for a Roman."

Carina smiled slightly. "You don't like Romans, do you?"

"Some are not so bad." Tristan shrugged, his face still unreadable but his eyes seemingly searching out every hidden thought of Carina. "How is your sister?"

"The fever broke this morning," Carina answered, sighing.

Tristan smiled knowingly. "But things are bad between the two of you."

"She hates me."

Tristan said nothing, waiting for her to continue.

"I saw my father die. I watched it happen, but Arabela…she thinks I left him there to die. She thinks I just ran away. But we had to run! The Saxon were right behind us. If we hadn't left right then, we would be dead as well. I was trying to save her. She was all I could think about. And now she hates me for it."

"Surely she doesn't hate you," Tristan said.

"You don't know my sister," Carina replied. "As if losing our father isn't enough, now she is going to blame me for it."

"It was not your fault."

"I know, but Arabela will never realize this."

Tristan shrugged. "Fact cannot be hidden forever, even from an unwilling heart. She will come around."

Carina sighed, looking back out the window, hating how he made it so simple, yet knowing he spoke truth. She glanced back at him. Tristan was still staring at her expectantly.

"Is anything ever complicated to you?" she asked, exasperated, wishing he would simply sympathize with her.

Tristan smiled. "Only women."

Carina laughed. "Well, at least there is something I know about that you don't."


	6. A Journey Into the North

**Thank you KnightMaiden, foursidedtriangle, and butterflykisses71 for reviewing! Let's keep it up. I love reading your comments. They are so encouraging. Here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it! I'm going for at least five reviews for this chapter. Make my dreams come true. Hahahaha**

**Chapter 6: A Journey Into the North**

The weeks were flying by. Carina could hardly believe it was over a month since she and Arabela had first arrived. Even though Arabela had not spoken another word to her since that day many weeks ago, Carina held onto hope that one day she would come around. Tristan's friendship had become very dear to her. He just saw things differently, and it was nice to get a new perspective.

Carina was enjoying her time spent with the children at Vanora's house, and it seemed the children had taken quite a liking to her as well. Three was her favorite, a shy girl of seven years old with hair just like her mother's. Carina had secretly named her Fiorella, her little flower.

Arabela also seemed to be doing well. She had gotten out of bed just a few days after her fever broke and was now running, laughing, and playing around the fort. The other knights had taken a great liking to her, and could often be found involved in one of her games.

The older sister had met the other knights as well. They seemed nice and completely harmless towards them. Lancelot was kind but was a bit of a womanizer. Carina had seen him with several women during her stay here. Bors had become a great friend, as well as Dagonet. Galahad, the youngest one and closest to Carina's age, was always good for a laugh, as well as Gawain. Geraint, Gawain's brother, was a little quieter but always offered an encouraging word. Kay was tall and rather intimidating. He didn't speak much to her but was rowdy with the other knights.

Carina still held the memories of her father close, although she didn't think about him as much. "It is okay to move on," as Tristan had told her, and so slowly but surely life continued on for her. Father would not have wanted her to be upset for so long anyway. She tried in everything to live as he would have wanted her to.

Spring was changing into summer, and the days were growing more humid. It never really got hot in Britain like it had in Rome, but summer was still a time for green meadows and lush trees and flowers. Carina loved the change of the seasons.

On one beautiful summer day, while Carina was playing hide and seek in the village with the children, Vanora came out to meet her.

"Carina!" she called.

Carina ran over to the red-haired woman who had a bright smile on her face.

"You have been working hard without a single day to yourself for over three weeks now," Vanora said.

"Oh, but I love it. Your children are so much fun," Carina interjected, panting from their games.

"Yes, I know, but you need some time to do what you want. Why don't you take the rest of the day off?"

Carina stared at Vanora expectantly. "But who will watch over the children?"

"I took care of them before you came along, and I can take care of them now," Vanora laughed. "Besides, Bors can get off his lazy arse and help me."

"Are you sure?" Carina asked.

"Yes, I'm sure! Now, git outta here before I change my mind!"

Carina smiled before turning and running off into the village. She loved the children very much, but she was also happy to have a day off. And there was only one place she wanted to go.

"Okay, you chilluns, game is over! Go wake up your father!" Carina heard Vanora yell as she hurried away. She just laughed, however, and kept going as fast as she could.

The woods used to be her comfort, her shelter, but after the Saxons had attacked they had become her enemy. The fear she had experienced in them stayed with her long after the other emotions had passed. Now, however, many days had come and gone, and the forest was calling to her again, no longer holding its dark secrets. Carina left the south gate, which remained open most of the time since there was not much danger to the south and sprinted through the green field to the line of trees.

Once she reached them, she slowed to a walk, breathing in the silence and solidarity of the woods, the smell of the bark, and the sounds of the animals frolicking just beyond her sight. Carina wandered for a bit, not traveling too far from the wall, before settling down with her back against a tree trunk.

Nowadays, without even realizing it, Carina would find herself thinking about Delanna and her family. Delanna had been her best friend growing up, and now she didn't even know if she was still alive.

A twig snapped behind her, but it did not startle her. Tristan usually found her, no matter where she tried to hide.

"Hello, Tristan," she said with a smile, not bothering to turn around.

The scout came around to face her, squatting on his ankles to be eye level. "I see I've been found out."

"Yes, and by a Roman, no less," Carina joked.

Tristan chuckled. "I suppose I'll have to be more careful next time."

Carina smiled, studying him. He had opened up to her more and more over the past few weeks, but his face was yet unreadable to her. Even when he smiled, it seemed he was still holding something back, but she could not discover what it was. His eyes were peering at her from underneath his long hair, as usual. His gaze used to unnerve her, but now it was almost comforting. When he was looking at her it was like there was no one else in the world.

"What are you thinking about?" Tristan asked, picking up a stick and drawing little circles in the dirt with it.

"About home, actually," Carina answered. "And old friends. Do you think anything is left?"

"I imagine not. The Saxons burn everything."

"Do you think everyone left behind is dead?" Carina asked.

Tristan shrugged. "Some could have escaped, like you and your sister."

Carina looked up at the blue sky through the trees. "I would like to go back someday, just to see it."

"Are you sure about that?" Tristan was staring at her, a concerned look on his face. "There is probably nothing left."

"I know…" Carina sighed. "But I can't just sit here wondering. I have to see it with my own eyes."

Tristan's eyes turned thoughtful. "I suppose we could talk to Arthur about it."

Carina grinned. "Really?"

"Well, don't get all excited. He may very well say no. And of course, somebody would have to go with you," Tristan said.

"Wouldn't you come?" Carina asked. "I mean, after all, you are the scout."

Tristan smiled. "I guess I could."

* * *

Arthur was not keen on the idea of an expedition to the north. He considered it too dangerous, and although he understood the need for an escort, it was hard for him to send along one of his knights, even Tristan. After several days of compelling arguments from both Carina and Tristan, however, Arthur relented. Tristan would lead the two sisters far into the north, back to their home. 

Carina at last sat down with Arabela, and although the younger sister still did not say a word to her, she let Carina explain their journey, should she want to go. After Carina had finished speaking, Arabela simply got up and left to pack.

They left early the next morning, Carina riding Mea, their old horse who had been taken good care of in the stables, and Arabela riding with Tristan. They left by way of the north gate, Carina knowing they were entering enemy territory for the knights. She had had no trouble with the Woads, but prayed silently they would still not come across any.

As the day continued, the sun rose, burning the fog away and brightening their path. The trees shone with dew. Carina found it hard to believe they were heading to her home, the place she had fled in terror, and yet she was finding new beauty in these surroundings. Excitement and nervousness filled her body; happy to be heading home, but scared of what they would find.

The day passed surprisingly quickly, and soon they were stopping for the night. They were much better prepared than when Carina and Arabela had first made the journey. Tristan built a fire for them and cooked a rabbit he had killed along the way. In the coming darkness, Carina was glad he was there.

Arabela was silent but looked happier around her sister than she had in many weeks. She ate the meat hungrily and was soon sprawled out under the blankets close to the fire. Carina laughed merrily.

"She is acting more like the six year old she is," Carina said.

Tristan laughed softly. "We might have to steal one of those blankets from her."

Carina nodded, realizing she was getting a little chilly, even sitting close to the fire. Nights in Britain were cold no matter what the season was.

Tristan crept over to Arabela and expertly peeled one the blankets from the young girl's grasp. Carina giggled quietly when Arabela stirred but did not wake up. Tristan smiled, bringing the blanket back to Carina and wrapping it around her shoulders.

"Thank you," Carina said, grabbing the sides of the blankets with her fingers and pulling it tighter.

Tristan nodded and sat back down. The two stayed that way in silence, sitting close but not touching. Finally Carina looked over at him.

"Tell me about your home."

Tristan's face was dancing in the light of the fire, his eyes even deeper and more mysterious, his sharp features enhanced by the darkness around them. Carina realized it was in the darkness she had first met him, so terrified, so alone. How different things were now.

"Home is just a memory to me," Tristan said, his gaze on the fire.

"Well, then tell me your memories."

The scout sighed heavily. He had not thought about home in a very long time. "I was taken by the Romans when I was fifteen. I had two younger siblings: a sister and a brother. I can barely remember their faces now. We had a small home in a village surrounded by fields of green grass. And that's all I remember."

"Do you want to go back there after your service to the Romans is completed?" Carina asked. She had learned all about the Sarmatian knights' servitude to Rome for fifteen years, how they had four years left, how many had died already.

"I don't know. I don't think about it too much," Tristan answered, finally turning his face to hers.

Carina studied him. "You really don't think about your family? Don't you wonder if they're still alive…waiting for you to return?"

Tristan shrugged. "You don't think about those things when your duty is to kill others."

Carina looked away, knowing Tristan was an expert at killing his enemies. It was hard to imagine him that way, however, because she had only seen him as simply Tristan, the soft-spoken man who had become her friend.

"I hope home is always precious to me, no matter how far away I go or how long the time has been," Carina said softly.

"And what do you think of as your home? Where you came from or where we are going? Because I guarantee they will not be one in the same," Tristan replied.

Carina sighed, knowing he most likely told the truth. Her head believed him but her heart refused to. "I suppose home to me is wherever I choose to make it, wherever I am the most comfortable, wherever there is love and happiness."

"So your home is at Hadrian's Wall now?" It seemed more like a statement than a question.

Carina smiled slightly. "Yes, I guess it is."

They sat in companionable silence once again, both staring into the fire, the sounds of the woods echoing softly through the night. Carina allowed her mind to wander. Her home had been with her father because she loved and trusted him. Now her home was Hadrian's Wall because she loved and trusted Tristan. She glanced over at him. Yes, she did love Tristan.

_As a friend_, Carina told herself quickly. _Only as a friend._

Yet if she loved him only as a friend, why did her pulse beat faster at his very presence? Why did she yearn to reach out and touch him, hold him, kiss him?

Carina tried to shake the thoughts from her head. Even if she did love Tristan as more than a friend, he would never return it. He was a knight. He killed other men without as much as a hint of regret. To him, she was probably just a young girl who needed to be looked after. Carina sighed, leaning her head back, allowing the dancing fire to lull her into a thoughtless daze.


	7. A New Home

**Hello everyone! Sorry for the longer wait for an update. Finals are coming up, and every professor was trying to squeeze in one more test. Tons of fun, let me tell you. Thank you so much KnightMaiden, foursidedtriangle, Scout Earane, Brooke1sg, and Fuzzy Makes Me Happy for reviewing! Your words of encouragement and how involved you get the story make me happy and excited to write more. Also, you met my goal of 5 reviews. Thanks, guys! You're awesome! Anyways, here is the next installment. Just a warning to some who might have been reading this story, I had to increase the rating because of this chapter. If you're very finicky about blood and death and other such things, I'm just warning it gets a little more intense. In order for you to identify with the characters, I had to let you know what they were seeing and going through. So anyway, I hope you enjoy! And don't forget to review!**

**Chapter 7: A New Home**

Carina awoke during the gray hours of the next morning lying on the ground next to the dwindling fire. The blanket she had been clutching was wrapped tightly around her, and another folded blanket placed underneath her head. She must have fallen asleep sitting up.

She rose up slowly, yawning and stretching her arms. Tristan came around from behind her, leading his horse.

"It's time to get moving," he said gruffly.

Carina got up, remembering her thoughts from the knight before. Here, in the gathering sunlight, they seemed even more foolish. Tristan was a good friend, nothing more. She unsuccessfully tried to make her heart believe it.

Knowing she could not dwell in her emotions, Carina instead focused on getting their small camp packed away. She roused Arabela, who got up sleepily but still did not utter a word to her.

Soon they were riding again in silence. Arabela nodded sleepily with the movement of the horse, held tightly in place by Tristan's arms. Carina felt a twinge of jealousy that her sister got to experience Tristan's embrace all day when she had never felt it.

They rode quickly but not fast enough to overly exert the horses. None of the riders had an exact idea of where the estate was from Hadrian's Wall, but Tristan was a good scout. Carina had no doubt they would find her old home easily.

They did not stop all day, and by the time evening was falling, the woods were getting a familiar feel. They were getting closer. Carina knew they could reach their destination the next day. Her stomach started to feel queasy thinking about it. The excitement was starting to fade, replaced by apprehension. The closer they got, the more worried she became of what they would find.

Tristan pulled his horse to a halt in a small clearing. "We'll sleep here tonight." They were the first words he had spoken since they started riding that morning. He dismounted easily, and reached up to help Arabela down. The younger girl giggled as he grabbed her midsection.

"You're tickling me!" she laughed.

Tristan smiled, but merely set her down and turned to take care of the horses.

Carina climbed off Mea and stroked her mane gently. The horse whinnied and pawed the ground, as if sensing they were close to home.

"I'm afraid things will be much different when we return, girl," Carina said softly. "Home might not be what it was."

Mea whinnied once again, bobbing her head like she understood.

Tristan built another raging fire, and the three sat around it, eating large chunks of bread. Arabela laughed and joked with Tristan. The scout did not say much but would laugh at the young girl's jokes. Carina sat in silence before eventually resigning herself to sleep, curling up underneath a blanket away from the fire. She woke once during the night to find another blanket had been placed on top of her and wrapped tightly around her. Her eyes glanced around and she saw Tristan, sitting with his back against a tree, his eyes open, staring out into the night. Carina smiled slightly, rolling over and pulling the blankets closer to her chin, feeling safe that Tristan was watching over them.

Morning came too soon, but Carina managed to get up on her own. Arabela complained a bit, but she was doing well for a six year old out in the forest. Carina reminded herself that they had done this before in much worse conditions.

After riding for only around two hours, they entered a large clearing. Carina stared in amazement at what had used to be their estate, their home, her heart caught in her throat. A skeleton of their house remained, parts of the walls still standing, but everything burned. The wall surrounding the house was missing large chunks, the gate completely gone. The small village which used to surround the house was demolished; all that remained were a few burnt piles where houses had been.

Carina looked over at Tristan, tears sliding down her face. They rode slowly up to the sight, Carina's eyes seeing what her heart had feared. Nothing remained. The Saxons had burned everything. Bodies were still strewn on the ground, left where they had died. Some were burned like they had been caught in a fire; others were rotting in the summer heat, arrows sticking out from them or gashes cut through them. Carina had to look away, unable to bear the horrific display.

"Arabela, close your eyes," the older sister said softly, still trying to protect her innocent sister. Arabela merely looked at her, her brown eyes large and round, tears welling up.

They were riding through it now, and Carina was getting a glimpse of the people she used to see everyday; those she had laughed with, cried with, played with. She found the house where Delanna had used to live. It was merely a pile of ashes. She remembered Paolo gathering his family inside the house. Carina saw three bodies in the pile of ashes. Sobs escaped from her throat as she dismounted Mea quickly, running over to the scene but stopping where the ashes started.

Tristan pulled up his horse behind her as Carina dropped to her knees, getting off his horse and moving to stand behind her. The bodies were unrecognizable, but she knew who they were. The stench waved up to Carina, and unable to bear it anymore, she leaned her head to the ground and threw up.

"Who are they?" Tristan asked softly.

Carina had her head in her hands now, weeping. "My friends. Delanna was my best friend."

Tristan didn't say anything but wished he could do something. Arabela had her hands over her eyes, shutting out the sight. He was glad for that, at least. The destruction of the Saxon was nothing a six year old should see.

Carina finally stood up, wiping the tears from her face. She looked up at Tristan, whose eyes showed compassion for her pain.

Arabela had released her eyes and she was staring at something off a little farther from where they stood.

"Father!" The young girl suddenly cried, clumsily climbing off the horse herself and running to the figure on the ground. Carina and Tristan hurriedly followed until they stood over the body.

Carina studied their father in death, the arrow still protruding through his chest. His eyes were closed in eternal sleep, and the smell was more than she could stand. Carina whipped around, her hand covering her mouth, trying to muffle the sobs that were escaping. This was not how she wanted to remember her father.

Arabela was crying loudly, her fierce shrieks covering the silent land with mourning. She raised her fists to the sky, then turned to Carina. She rushed her older sister, leaning into her, pounding her tiny fists into Carina's body. Tristan moved quickly towards the girls to stop the tirade, but Carina took it without a flinch. He took a step back to watch.

"You let him die! You let him die!" Arabela was shouting, wildly flailing her arms.

Carina looked down at her sister and slowly began to wrap her arms around her. At first Arabela resisted, but soon Carina had her arms completely wrapped around her, and Arabela fell into her older sister's body, her arms hanging loosely at her sides, her sobs muffled in Carina's dress. Carina rubbed her back gently, whispering soothing words to Arabela. Eventually the young girl's cries subsided, and she carefully wrapped her tiny arms around Carina's midsection. The two sisters stood there, hugging each other in silence.

Eventually, Carina broke the embrace and wiped the tears away from her eyes. She slowly turned to Tristan. "We should bury them."

* * *

Darkness was quickly falling when they finally finished burying the bodies. They had buried her father first and then Delanna and her family, along with every other body they could find. Finally, they rode a ways back out into the woods and collapsed. Tristan had suggested they ride back into the woods that evening. He knew how traumatic it would be for the two girls to stay the night in the disaster which had once been their home. 

Arabela was asleep before the fire was even lit. Carina sat up against a tree trunk, her eyes glazed over. After building the fire to a sufficient height, Tristan went to sit by her.

"I am sorry about today," he said softly.

Carina looked at him and smiled slightly. "You tried to warn me about what it might be like, but I didn't listen. It was my choice to go back."

"I should have known better," Tristan shook his head.

"No, it was my decision. And I am not sorry for it. We were able to give my father and friends a proper burial. There is nothing more I could have asked for."

Tristan nodded, continuing to stare at her. She placed her head back against the trunk of the tree, closing her eyes. After a few more moments, he moved silently away, letting her sleep.

* * *

Carina woke with a start. Tristan was standing over her, his finger pressed to his lips, signaling to stay quiet. The fire had been snuffed out, and they were sitting in complete darkness. 

"What's going on?" Carina whispered, sitting up.

"Woads," Tristan answered.

Carina's heart jumped. It seemed as if the forest was almost alive with their presence. A twig snap here, a slight rustling of leaves there. Seemingly all innocent sounds, but suddenly they held danger.

Carina stood up and ran to her sister. She wrapped her up in her arms and pulled her tightly against her body, pressing one of her hands to the young girl's mouth. Arabela woke with a jerk, her mouth pressing hard to open against Carina's hand, but the older sister allowed no sound to escape.

Tristan was standing in the center of the camp, his bow ready, an arrow ready to fire. His eyes shifted back and forth, waiting for the first Woad to appear. Suddenly one flew out of the trees. Tristan shot him in a split second, and had reloaded the next second. Another one attacked; he too fell quickly. They were coming in numbers now, flowing out of the trees as if the forest were made of Woads. Carina watched in terror as three Woads attacked Tristan at once with more flying at him.

_He'll never survive! There's too many of them! _her mind raced. However, she stayed where she was with her sister.

Tristan drew his sword and made quick use of it. Death was an art for him. If not for the growing pile of dead Woads around him, one might almost think he was lost in some sort of dance.

The stream of Woads was slowing now. Carina was just beginning to relax a little when she felt strong hands grab her from behind. Somebody was dragging her up forcefully. Something cold and sharp was pressed to her throat: a dagger.

Tristan turned to see Carina being held by the Woad. Anger flew across his normally unreadable face. Quick as lightning, he grabbed his bow and had loaded it and fired. It hit Carina's captor directly in his eye. He fell backwards, his body becoming as limp.

Arabela was screaming continuously, her mouth opened wide. Tristan looked over at the girl. "Hush!" he said harshly. Arabela quickly obeyed.

The scout ran over to Carina, where she was still standing in shock, her face pale and drawn.

"Are you okay?" Tristan asked, grasping her shoulders tightly and turning her toward him.

Carina slowly met his eyes. She nodded her head, her mind still not registering the completeness of what had happened.

Tristan was staring at her, looking deep into her eyes. Something new was swirling around inside of him. _Fear_. He had never felt fear before, but fear was what had jumped into his throat when he saw Carina held by the Woad. He quickly dropped his hands, taking a step back.

"No more sleep tonight. We must get back to the fort."

The two sisters willingly obeyed, grabbing their things and climbing back atop the horses, which seemed just as ready to leave. They rode the rest of the night and all of the next day to reach Hadrian's Wall, their new home, once again.


	8. At Long Last

**Thank you foursidedtriangle, Scout Earane, butterflykisses71, and Fuzzy Makes Me Happy for reviewing! I greatly appreciate your comments and thoughts. Finals are coming up, so blah. But I've tried to write ahead a bit, so hopefully I can still update regularly. I hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

**Chapter 8: At Long Last**

Almost two years had passed since those fateful weeks. Carina and Arabela had seen many changes of the seasons now. They had weathered a tough winter with the knights, another small Saxon uprising which was quickly squelched in the next months of early spring, and another summer all come and gone. Winter of their second year was just beginning, the ground cold and hard, the weather bringing heavy precipitation and wind that chilled you straight to your bones.

Carina was now eighteen, a beautiful young woman who still looked very much like her father. Arabela, now a maturing eight year old, continued to look more and more like their mother. The sisters had been reconciled since that day at their old estate, becoming even closer than they had been before.

The knights had watched their growth, all of them happy the girls had decided to stay, all of them marveling at the beauty they had brought to the fort. Galahad, Gawain, and Lancelot could often be found in an argument over who could win Carina's heart first. Secretly, however, they all knew who her heart already belonged to.

They had also noticed the looks Tristan had been giving her when he wasn't aware anybody was watching. Careful Tristan, who had always been so watchful and cautious, had grown careless with his longing glances. All the knights knew how their friendship had flourished, but now Carina had grown from a child to a young woman. She was strong; a joyful woman who brought laughter and hope to the knights in their last years of servitude. Tristan knew deep down that he cared for her very much, ever since that day out in the forest when the fear of losing her had almost crippled him, but those feelings also scared him. He had never felt anything for anybody, yet now a woman was bringing him to his knees.

Carina only smiled and laughed at the knights as they would attempt to woo her in their own ways. Lancelot, brazen and bold, would often wrap his arms around her and whisper beautiful things in her ears. Galahad was much more playful, telling jokes and leaning in close to her whenever they spoke. Gawain would show off his skill for her, teaching her the basics of how to use a sword. Even Geraint made an attempt once. In his silent manner, he gathered some flowers for her, and shyly smiling, gave them to her one evening after dinner. She had thanked him profusely and kept them for as long they lasted. Carina knew none of the knights were really serious. Most of them had different women in their beds every night, and they all knew she would go to bed with none of them, so they merely continued their masquerade as a joke and a way to make her laugh.

Another child had been added to Bors' family, and Carina was kept busy at their house most of the time. Fiorella, as she was now called by everybody, was slowly outgrowing her shyness. She and Arabela had become good friends due to their close ages. Carina loved to see them laughing and playing together. She had grown close with the dysfunctional family. Some of the children now considered her their sister. She laughed to think of herself as one of Bors' illegitimate children.

Days passed without much difference except for the growing cold, but one day, as Carina was doing the laundry for the family, Tristan walked up to her, a somber look on his face.

"What is it?" Carina asked, her smile falling.

"The Woads have been attacking the estates of Roman lords. We have orders to stop them," Tristan answered, his voice flat and emotionless.

"But it is the middle of winter!" Carina protested. "Why must you go now?"

Tristan merely shrugged before turning to walk away. Carina stared after him, her fingers getting icy in the water, but her mind unable to concentrate on anything except Tristan's back.

That evening, Carina skipped dinner and stayed in her room next to the fire Jols had built for her. She usually ate with the knights, but tonight they would be preparing for their mission. They left in the morning.

Carina thought about each of the knights, each so strong, and yet in their own way so vulnerable. They were each fighting for a freedom which had been stolen from them, each fighting to stay alive long enough to see their home once again. Carina suddenly hated herself for being a Roman. She wished there was something she could do but knew it was futile. They had two years of servitude remaining, and many battles still awaited them.

They had gone on missions before since the two sisters' arrival, but all of them had been during spring or summer, and all had been relatively short and not as dangerous as this mission. This time they shall have to battle the cold as well as the Woads, and Arthur was estimating they would be gone around four months.

The door opened slowly, but Carina heard it in her silence.

"Have you come to say goodbye?" she asked sullenly, knowing it was Tristan.

He came to face her, looking down at her where she sat in the chair, an amused expression on his face. "You would make a great scout." Carina stared back at him blankly.

Tristan frowned, clearing his throat, knowing better than to avoid the purpose of his visit. "Yes, I came to say goodbye."

"Shouldn't you be making your preparations to leave?" Carina asked, her voice dull.

"They have already been made," Tristan answered.

Carina stared at him, her heart hurting with the pain of him leaving. Why had she allowed herself to become so attached? Tristan was staring back at her expectantly.

"Shall I ever see you again?" Her voice cracked, giving away her emotions. She looked away quickly, trying to hide the tears that were welling up in her eyes.

Tristan reached down his hand and gently grabbed her chin. He forced her to look at him. "Yes, you will see me again. I promise you that."

He said with so much conviction, and Carina wanted to believe him. The tears began to unwillingly fall. She tried to turn her head, but Tristan still had a firm grasp on her chin. He bent down until his face was even with hers. He was looking deep into her eyes, searching her like he used to do when they first met. And then he kissed her, his hand still clasped under her chin, the other hand moving to her back, lifting her to him. Carina, her cheeks wet from the tears, felt a shot of emotions when he finally placed his lips to hers. She breathed him in, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He pulled her up, not breaking the kiss, drawing her closer to him until their bodies were pressed against each other. Both of his arms were wrapped around her middle now, holding her tightly.

The kiss ended much too quickly for Carina. Tristan pulled away, not releasing her but loosening his grasp. Carina stared at him a moment, running her fingers across his face, over his tattoos. She brushed the hair out of his eyes, neither one of them breaking the gaze.

Finally Tristan sighed, pulled his arms from around her but taking both of her hands in his. He pressed them to his mouth, kissing them gently.

"I will return," he said softly, before dropping her hands and walking slowly out the door.

Carina watched him go, the taste of his lips still fresh. She pressed her fingers to her mouth, not wanting the feeling to end. Exhilaration coursed through her body, but the impending morning hung heavily on her heart.

* * *

Carina did not sleep at all that night. She rose early to watch the knights leave, her eyes bloodshot from crying and heavy bags underneath her eyes. Snow was beginning to fall as Carina stood on top of the wall, watching them ride away. Tristan turned once, raising his hand slightly, then quickly rejoined his group. 

Several days passed without the snow ceasing. The fort seemed empty and much too large with the knights gone. Their raucous jokes and loud laughter no longer filled the halls. Even Vanora and Bors' children seemed sullen at their leaving. They did not want to play but instead sat in the house, huddling together against the cold, the newest member of the family wailing constantly.

Carina did her best to go about her daily duties, but she did it with a heavy heart. It seemed unfair that Tristan should let her know how he really felt and then leave her for four months. Silently, she began to curse him, hating herself for loving him so much. She also cursed her own people, the Romans, for taking them on such a dangerous mission But every morning she still walked eagerly to the wall to see if there was any sign of them.

The days passed into a month, and then into two months. Winter was at full force now. Snow blanketed the fort and surrounding village. Fierce winds were blowing in from every direction. Carina did her best to keep the children warm. Arabela often joined her at Vanora's house now, unwilling to stay back at the fort alone. They would huddle around the fire with the children, trying to keep their time occupied by telling jokes and stories. The children loved to hear stories about the sisters' past.

A snowstorm blew in one day after nearly three months had passed. Vanora brought her children to the fort one evening as the snow drifts were beginning to form.

"It'll be better here for the chilluns," Vanora said, shaking the snow from her clothes and beginning to carefully unwrap her children from their many layers. Carina bent down and helped her, grateful they had decided to come.

Jols tried to shovel the snow away once, but it was useless. The snow was blowing in faster than he could shovel it. So they sat in the fort close to the fire, waiting for the storm to finish its fury. Carina was not scared for herself but for the knights. How could they possibly survive this out in the forest? Vanora tried to give her an encouraging smile, but Carina could see how worried she was growing as well.

The storm lasted three days before finally letting up. Jols and some of the other servants managed to push the door open with much effort and shovel a small path to the outside world. Carina gasped as she stood in the doorway. Snow drifts nearly reached the rooftops of the villagers' houses. Some of the smaller buildings had completely disappeared. The path Jols and the servants had shoveled was surrounded by walls of snow at least two feet high.

It took two more days for people to start venturing out of their homes. Soon paths were appearing everywhere in the small village, and Carina smiled to see life return. The children were beginning to get antsy from being inside for so long. They ran around the fort mercilessly, while Carina and Vanora chased them down. Arabela and Fiorella often just sat and laughed at these antics, preferring to sit in front of the fire. Arabela had taught Fiorella to quilt, and they spent most of their time doing that.

Just a week or so after the snowstorm hit, the sun returned in full force, blinding the villagers against the white snow. It was still extremely cold, but the wind had died down. Slowly the snow began to melt until it was a tolerable height, and though there were still some snow drifts against a few of the buildings, most of the villagers had cleared the snow from around their houses and life had returned to normal.

It was during this time while Carina was outside making snow angels with the children that the call was sounded from atop the high wall which surrounded their village. Anxiously, Carina ran to the top of the wall and looked out. What she saw made her heart jump. The knights were returning.

The knights entered the gates, cold, beaten, some bloody. Gawain had a nasty gash on his left forearm. Arthur had a cut on his temple. The other knights trudged through the gates on their horses wearily. Carina searched them as they entered, her heart stilled in her chest. Finally she saw him, Tristan, coming in last and leading two horses. Carina wanted to run to him but instead as her eyes fell on the empty horses. Geraint and Kay…they were missing. Her heart sank as she realized the awful truth. Not all had returned alive.

* * *

As they sat around the large round table, the knights looked at each other despairingly. Gawain's arm had been stitched up, and Arthur's cut tended to. Carina sat next to Tristan and studied them, looking at each one in turn. Galahad looked like he had been crying. Gawain sat in silence, his face long and his eyes red. Lancelot stared off into nothingness. Dagonet and Bors sat close to each other, their faces devoid of emotion but their eyes giving away their sadness. Tristan looked down into his cup of wine. 

Arthur stood, raising a glass to the knights. "You have fought well. I could not ask for anything better of you. Kay and Geraint were good men, good fighters. May their souls rest in peace."

The knights raised their glasses, murmuring replies, and then they each downed their drink. Gawain got up first, leaving quickly. Carina could see his shoulders shaking with the upcoming sobs. Tears fell down her face for him. The pain he must feel to lose his brother. The other knights soon followed. Tristan got up and took Carina's hand in his, an unreadable expression on his face. Carina offered the best smile she could even though she knew it was not convincing. She was so glad to have him home, but her heart ached for those who had died along the way. He held onto her hand and she allowed him to lead her to his bedroom.

A fire had already been made in the hearth, and Carina was glad for its warmth. She sat down on the bed, Tristan sitting closely beside her.

"What happened?" she asked softly, wrapping one of her arms around him, gently rubbing his back.

"We were attacked. Kay and Geraint died," Tristan simply answered. He obviously did not want to talk about it.

Carina let him sit in silence, still stroking his back, when he finally turned to her. "How have things been at the fort?"

"Lonely," she answered with a small smile.

Tristan stared at her, his eyes mesmerizing her once again. "I promised you I would return."

"Yes, and I am so glad that you kept your promise," Carina whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

He wrapped her in his arms, and she fell willingly against him, clutching him. She still found it hard to believe that he was here again…with her. God had granted her another opportunity to be with him, to love him.

And she knew that she did love him very much. As he held her tightly, her face buried in his strong shoulder, she knew there would never be another man for her, that this was the one who was intended for her and whom she had been created for.

He was holding her so tightly it made it hard for her to breathe, but Carina didn't care. Tristan had returned, and nothing else in the world mattered.

After a long while, Tristan pulled back only to pull her into his arms again in a kiss, long and hard. He pressed his lips firmly on hers, his mouth opening and his tongue finding its way into her mouth. His hands were roaming freely and one found its way to her thigh. He slowly began to lift her dress, but Carina pulled back, placing her hand on his to stop it.

"No," she said softly but her voice was firm. Her face was not angry but resolute.

Tristan smiled slightly, nodding his head. He would never disrespect her wishes. Instead, he took off his boots and laid down on the bed, his head on the pillows, one of his arms reaching for her. She smiled and scooted next to him, lying side by side with him, his arm wrapped around her. She leaned into his body, one of her arms falling over his stomach. They fell asleep like that, each cradling the other in their arms, wanting nothing more than just to feel the other's presence.


	9. Love

**So, I'm very sorry to all of you who were reading this story. It's been way too long since I updated! But here it is, Chapter 9. I hope all of you who were reading are not too mad at me and will continue to read. And maybe there are some newcomers out there who will become interested, also! Some of you continued to comment, which was great, because it encouraged me to get back to writing, so thank you to those of you who did. Anyways, enjoy! And please review!**

**Chapter 9: Love**

The sun was coming through the windows much too brightly. Carina groaned and rolled over. She reached over for Tristan but found the other half of the bed empty. She got up slowly to see him kneeling next to the fire, poking at it with a metal stick.

"Good morning," she said softly, a smile creeping across her face.

Tristan turned to find her awake. "Good morning." He returned her smile.

She is most beautiful in the morning, he thought, his eyes looking over her appearance. Her eyes were still half-closed with sleep. Her hair was ruffled and had fallen from its usual bun at the back of her head. It hung in brown waves past her shoulders. The dress she had been wearing yesterday was now rumpled and wrinkled, and she was attempting to straighten it. She glanced up at Tristan, noticing him staring at her. Her face began to turn red.

"What?" Carina asked.

"Nothing," Tristan laughed. He got up and walked over to the bed, leaning over it and kissing her gently on the lips. "Did you sleep well?" he asked as he pulled away and sat on the bed next to her.

"Yes, very well," Carina answered, a smile playing across her face.

There was a knock at the door. "Tristan, breakfast," Jols called, opening the door slightly. He blushed and bowed his head when he saw Carina. "Oh, I'm sorry, milady."

Carina laughed. "It's alright, Jols. We'll be at breakfast in a few minutes."

Tristan began to laugh as Jols hurriedly shut the door. He turned and looked at Carina. "Rumors will fly."

She merely laughed, swinging her legs to the floor and making herself presentable for breakfast.

The other knights were already gathered when Carina and Tristan arrived. They received some bemused glances, but otherwise breakfast was a somber affair. The deaths of two comrades were still heavy on their hearts. Gawain and Bors looked like they had spent most of the night drinking.

Carina did her normal activities of the following days, helping with the children, making sure all were fed and clothed properly, but she did it with a renewed joy in her heart. Tristan had returned; he still wanted to be with her. She wasn't sure if he loved her, but at least she was certain he wanted her more than just to take her to his bed. He would have left her alone a long time ago should that be the case.

She hummed quietly as she helped with some of the other tasks as well, such as laundry for the knights and cooking and cleaning. Even Arabela joined in with some of the chores. All were happy to have the knights home, and though Kay and Geraint would never be forgotten, they wanted to make the surviving knights return as joyous as possible.

Once again the weeks were passing quickly. The snow melted, the weather began to warm. Spring was rushing towards them. Carina's days were spent at Bors' and Vanora's house, and her evenings were spent with Tristan when he was there. Sometimes he would go to scout and not return until long after darkness had fallen. She would sit up those long nights waiting for him, her concern not allowing her to sleep. He would always return to her, though, kissing her, letting her know he was safe before retiring to his bed.

"You love him, don't you?" Arabela asked. She was sitting in a chair, carefully stitching together a new shirt for Vanora's eldest son, now a strapping boy of ten. Arabela was still growing in beauty as well, now nine years old, as she was born in the spring. Vanora had taught the Arabela to sew, and since she loved it so much, it was now her job to sew new clothes for the growing children.

Carina smiled at her younger sister. _What a heartbreaker she will be someday_, she thought.

"Yes, Arabela, I love him," she answered, looking back to the baby she was feeding, number Ten.

"And he loves you?" Her brown eyes were curious, searching.

"I suppose he does," Carina replied, her heart stinging. Tristan had never actually told her how he felt about her. He showed it with his actions, and she could feel it with the way he would hold her and kiss her. But he had never said it.

"You don't know if he loves you?" Arabela asked.

"He's never actually said anything about it," Carina answered truthfully, carrying on her father's tradition of no secrets.

"Maybe you should ask him."

"Ask him?" the older sister laughed. "And I wonder how he would react to that?"

Arabela shrugged. "You'll never know until you try." She turned back to her sewing, lost once again in concentration. Carina stared at her sister, her mouth hanging open with the truth of younger girl's words still ringing in her ears.

As Carina left the house and walked through the village, she couldn't help but marvel at the beauty spring brought with it. The sun was low and was shooting out rays of purple and deep red across the sky. The air was crisp and cool. Green was returning to the brown fields and forest. Carina happily hummed a song her mother had taught her many years ago. As she crossed into the fort, however, she remembered Arabela's simple statement. Should she ask him? But what if he did not love her?

Even if she did ask him, what would he think of her? What would he think she expected of him? Marriage? Carina frowned. Marriage was something she wanted deeply. Ever since she was little she had imagined the man she would marry, and although she had never pictured anyone like Tristan, she now knew he was the only man she would ever love. So why not marriage?

_Tristan will not want to get married. He is a scout; he spends his time alone. Why would he want to commit his life to another person?_ Carina scolded herself silently.

She had reached her room and closed the door behind her, frustrated. She threw herself on the bed and closed her eyes, willing her churning thoughts to disappear. However, they only came faster. Carina groaned and sat up to see Tristan peeking his head in at her.

"Are you alright?" he asked with an amused expression on his face.

"No," Carina answered with a sigh. Tristan frowned and walked up to her, sitting next to her on the bed.

"What is it?" he asked expectantly.

She drew in a long breath, trying to decide what to do. Finally, she mustered her courage and turned to him, looking him straight in the eyes. "Do you love me?"

He returned her gaze, his eyes showing no signs of wavering. He was silent for a few minutes before standing up slowly. "Follow me."

Carina nervously stood up and followed him out the door. They walked to the stables where he saddled his horse.

"Where are we going?" she asked. He had not spoken a word since they had been in her bedroom.

"You'll see," was his simple reply.

Tristan helped her onto the horse then climbed up behind her, wrapping his arms around her and grabbing the reins. He steered the horse out of the stables, through the village, and finally out the south gate. Once they were in the open fields, they turned to the east and he pushed his heels into the horse, making it go faster. She had never been east before, and her interest was only heightened. Soon they were racing towards the tree line.

He slowed the pace when they entered the forest but they were still moving relatively quickly. Carina asked no more questions despite the curiosity leaping through her.

After riding several hours through the forest, they finally came to a clearing. Just beyond the clearing was a steep cliff which fell hundreds of feet to a beach. The moon was rising in front of them, shining on a glassy ocean. They had reached the coast, the end of Britain where it faded underneath icy waters.

Carina breathed in sharply, taking in the beauty. "How did you find this place?" she asked softly.

"I found it when we first arrived over thirteen years ago. I was exploring and went too far, as wasn't unusual," Tristan stopped to chuckle. "It was nighttime, just like it is now, when I first discovered it. It gave me a sense of peace after being torn from my family and all I had ever known."

Carina turned in her seat and smiled tenderly at him. This was the most he had spoken of home since the day out in the forest when she had asked him about it. Tristan returned her smile briefly before climbing off the horse. He reached up and placed his hands underneath her arms, helping her down. Tristan took her hands in his and walked with her to the edge of the cliff.

"It's beautiful," Carina said, her eyes scanning the beach below, the light of the moon cascading on them, the smooth, still waters.

"Marry me."

Carina faced Tristan, his words shocking her. "What?"

"I love you, Carina…very much. Please will you marry me?"

Tristan's voice was low, but she could make out the tremble that crept into it. Carina searched his eyes and found the love she had questioned him about, the love she was hoping to find in him. Her heart leapt for joy. There was also something else in his eyes…fear. He was scared of the same rejection she had been scared of.

Carina smiled broadly, the love and happiness glowing from her face. "Of course," she said softly.

Tristan grinned, a look of relief passing across his face. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her off the ground and spinning her around. Carina threw her head back and laughed, their happiness filling the night.


End file.
